"Can you please calm down?" "No!"

Empathy Emotions & Emotional Intelligence

This is likely to be the answer of a four-year-old boy who was constantly angry, screaming and crying in an otherwise quiet waiting room at the doctors. It had been a long time for him, he didn't know why he should be there, and he didn't understand why time was dragging on like that. The desperate mother responded to the suffering and condolences of the others by trying to quiet her son's speech. She explained to him why he had to be in the waiting room. It did not work. The boy not only dug in, but continued his rage. He was very angry. Maybe we've experienced these moments of embarrassment with children and ourselves, when volume and tone of speech were unacceptable and we tried to tone them down.

There is no emotion like emotion.

And yet, which of us enjoys waiting somewhere long? Who among us likes seeing a doctor? Who among us can say that his patience is endless? Weren't the little boy's ravings logical? Maybe that's how we treat our own emotions.

It's nice to feel positive emotions. It's nice to see them in other people when they are happy or successful. In such cases, we accept their emotions, perhaps even encourage them to express themselves.

But this is not the case with negative emotions. Crying, sadness, anger, despair. These are emotions we don't want. And they'll probably upset us when we see them in our loved ones or in people around. We maybe then try to not see them, we try to suppress or perhaps even block them. "Stop crying," "Look at other people, they're much worse off," "You're not going to get angry here!" It is common.

How to work well with your emotions?

  1. Try to remember as many mood descriptions as possible
  2. Try to divide them into pleasant and unpleasant
  3. Try to look at the situations where you feel them
  4. Try to mark those that are natural
  5. Try to make friends with them!

Embracing the emotions of others could mean that we will feel them as well. That we will be sorry that our loved ones are having a hard time. That the reason our children are angry is actually logical and we will start to get angry too. And maybe at that moment we block these emotions internally, because what would they be for? Is it like we're going to get the whole family angry at once? Are we all going to cry? Someone must be strong and support others. So, negative emotions can't be allowed!

Without emotion, reason would be the only side of our personality. We would probably all be very smart, but also very similar.

What are our emotions for?

Emotions are a radar. A compass. A thermometer. Information. The answer to how we are. Emotions watch over us. And they're here mainly to let us know how we're doing. In situations, in relationships, in careers…. Let's try to imagine for a moment that "someone will turn them off". What we would lose! The opportunity to rejoice, laugh, love, cry with emotion, experience loss and sadness.

And yet we somehow got used to perceiving them much less than reason. And we even learned how to suppress them. Sometimes it just doesn't work for us. So, we block out the information about ourselves that our emotions send us and do nothing. And the more often we do this, the less we are and the worse we live with each other.

We do it with emotions on both ends of the spectrum. It is common for people to curb their laughter, joy and enthusiasm. And we don't "fight" the negative ones at all. We swallow tears and suppress anger. In the most extreme cases, the displacement of emotions can affect our body. Psychosomatic diseases are one of the most challenging and successful treatment is very long.

Emotions are an incredibly important part of the human personality. Without them, we would only be empty boxes of reason and the world would only be black and white.


The most important and at the same time the most interesting thing about emotions is their authenticity. Whether it is related to the situation or the mood we are in. They are a clear answer to whatever we are going through. Not acknowledging them, not listening to them, and not experiencing them properly is one of the biggest mistakes we make. Emotions are not our enemy. They are excellent acquaintances who need to be understood as well as possible.

Author: Veronika for Amy
Photo: Shutterstock