Let's talk about motivation. Where to take it and not steal it?

Soft skills Emotions & Emotional Intelligence

Why don't we get into things? Why can't we get off to a good start? Why doesn't the advice and help of others help us? "Even the most beautiful rose in the world was once just a seed." We have to plant ourselves!

Motivation. Where to take it and not steal it? After all, there are situations where we know exactly what to do, how to do it and why… And yet… NOTHING. Motivation is like a seed. Most of us have some in us. And others will come to it over the course of a lifetime. Some can be found in the first years of life. While playing. When something interests us or starts to amuse us. Other times motivation will come from other people. We observe what they do, how they do it, we try and maybe start to compete. We need to show them what we can do, and that we can be better. By the time we reach adulthood, we've already chosen seeds. We know what we enjoy, what we are interested in, what we excel at and what we would like to achieve for ourselves.

What is the seed made of?

The feeling that is behind every motivation is first. Feeling is part of behaviour, and behaviour is a plan. I want to grow a nice flower because I like it (feeling). For it to grow nicely, I will water it (behaviour). And one day I want to smell the flower and rejoice in its beauty (plan). I want / don't want, like / dislike, am interested / not interested. So, emotion is the imaginary seed we need to plant well so that we can cultivate what comes out of it.

And just as a plant needs to be cared for, so do our good emotions. Emotions determine our behaviour. In a well-known fairy tale, the servant tells the king, "If the matter goes with enthusiasm and fuss, the work will succeed!" And maybe we've had experience with that.

If we enjoy things, we are drawn to them and no one has to force us into them.

Consider, for example, subjects at school. We easily obtained good grades from subjects that entertained and interested us.

Why does it sometimes fail?

The most common reason why we don't do something is ourselves. Sometimes we may forget to water, sometimes we find that the plant does not grow as fast as we'd like. Usually we say things like "I don't want to, I don't like it". Or "I can't do it, I'm afraid of it".

Why don't we go for medical check-ups regularly, even though we know it's good for us and we should do it? We are scared.

Why do we not want to do some difficult things? So that we won't be ashamed of losing. Why don't we want to do a big spring cleaning at home? It's boring. Why don't we overcome ourselves? So that we won't feel guilty if we can't.

As a rule, every answer to why we are not motivated contains some emotion.

Emotions can keep us from getting started. Negative emotions, from which it is not possible to see good results. And so, better to give up. At that moment, it is useful to remember our plan. The plan to set behavior right again and experience the necessary emotions which may arise.

Don't give up and water

Which gardener we choose to be will determine what flower we grow. To be motivated, we have to take care of our emotions, adapt our behaviour to them and keep an eye on our plan. Sometimes, even if we take care of our motivational flower, what we wished for may eventually die or fail. But that's not a reason to not plant a new seed and learn from bad experiences and achieve a better result.

Author: Veronika for Amy
Photo: Shutterstock